She and her spot

Hello everyone!!!!!


If you are on my Facebook, I'm here to FINALLY DISCLOSE WHAT IS THE SPOT. If you are not, just stick around and I will share with you my spot :) I love to share amazing things, WOOHOO!

*Cue dramatic music* the spot is….. 

MY SPACE!!!!

Before you slap me thinking that it's myspace, no its not that! Its my space in the world. The space is a mental space that I found, which I am now turning it into something tangible through this platform. And in future, the space will transform into something even more tangible! A building? A whole plot of land? IDK! All I know is that it will be transforming again and again as time goes by.

Life has never been the same, before, during and after an intensive program that I went through. People closest in my heart know, I told them about my participation in the amazing program. And now, I am ready. NOT AFRAID ANYMORE! So courageous! Even to tell you! yes you! That I went through this program created by AsiaWorks. Before you start thinking that oh man this is another crazy bitch promoting the cult or whatever. Pause for a while. Yes you are right about me being a crazy bitch I recognize that I am one haha! But the thing here is not promoting AsiaWorks. It is purely a platform to share you this very good space I am in, for my life now. This space is so good, I feel so free, so accepted, so light and so amazing. It's so wonderful and I wanna include u all inside. I wanna share with you all. This little space of mine. :)

Soooo… Let me introduce my space. 

I always have a problem with commitment. 

And this picture says it all! It sums up who I was and am as a person. I am a very very passionate and affectionate person. My feelings are very overwhelming and contagious. Its so awesome right? People around me would get very very excited when I'm super excited about something. YAY! They would get very very happy when I'm ecstatic! DOUBLE YAY! BUT! There's the but. (So annoying, that but that always appear -.-) There's this downside. Once my excitement or adrenaline has left me, I often stop doing whatever I said or what I was so excited about. This sudden drop of action, has often disappointed me. And when I feel, I feel it 100%. Being the arrogant person that I am to protect myself, I hid my disappointment as not giving a fuck anymore, and just disappear. But my feelings are very contagious. As much as I hate it, it affects the person around me. They get disappointed too. They get disappoint by me again and again. And they get disappointed by themselves too. This sucks. Absolutely sucks. Because I love the people in my heart so much, that it disappoints me even more when I realize how disappointed they are about me. Get it? Its like a cycle! 

the cycle is like this (Let me try hard to put it into words!)

1. I get disappointed by my actions

2. People around me get disappointed at me 

3. I get disappointed by myself for disappointing them.

4. I get disappointed again 

Yes it is a very disappointing cycle. BUT! Life is not only about that disappointment. Its about celebration as well! And celebrating is what I do best. ;) NO PARTY LIKE A CYNTHIA'S PARTY! Anyway, let me get back to my space. In order to sustain commitment in my life (Because commitment is so important and such a big word seriously…), I need to do something about it. I need to maintain that space that I go whenever I commit! The problem is: How. It just hit me so randomly to start documenting it. Write it down. When I crash and burn (And I DO!), when the feelings got destroyed by it. I can read this. I can go back into my space. This space. It is now not in my mind anymore (Which is so hard to find sometimes). It is now, something tangible.


The question for me is not how to maintain to my space. That's just the problem. The question is, WHERE can I share my space? Because I want everyone inside. Not just the people in my heart. Because I realized that my heart is SO BIG that there's room for every single one of you. so now, where? WHERE ELSE BETTER THAN BLOGGING? ;)


SOOOO! All these space talk is getting too spacey! Let me pull you back to earth with me! This time, after crashing and burning time and time again, I want to give my commitment a shot. A shot in life. So, this is so major! What should I fire my shot at??? Of course, the BEST thing to shoot at now, would be my dream and passion: Baking. You ask me why this big HOO-HA about it. It's just baking. Go and bake lah drama queen lei. (I really am one haha, once you get to how drama I am, you will want to faint) Its a very very big thing for me. I love money. I love the things money can buy. I love to cry in a comfortable mercedes than on a bicycle. You say I am materialistic? Yes I am. That's a part of me. I love to enjoy the comfort in life that money can buy. BUT! I don't want to just keep taking money from my parents to buy this comfort. I WANNA BUY MY OWN COMFORT. So how????? But i really really love baking. I'm so scared and SO SURE THAT baking won't be able to bring me that amount of money to buy the comfort I want for myself, for my family and for my friends. I wanna provide not only the comfort of support mentally, I wanna provide tangible comfort. Not just by hugging or holding their hands when they cry in a coffeeshop? (I did that before, and I hated it. It was not comfortable for all for me and for them) I wanna hug them and hold their hands when they cry in my shop. I wanna hug them and hold their hands when they cry in my mercedes car. (Or whatever car I buy in the future) BUT baking lei. How? Really cannot la! Cannot afford all that. The but that kept appearing in my life, is finally put into good use here. BUT there are people who succeeded. Bengawan Solo, Breadtalk group, Awfully Chocolate blah blah blah. REALLY BIG NAMES which I am sure, are able to afford the best comfort money can buy.


So I am using my one and only shot, this best one I have at the things I want so bad in life. To fire at my wants. To fire at my passion. To fire at baking. This is why. This is the reason. Now, all you guys have to do, is to watch me succeed. Because I grow so slowly as though time has froze :D So be patient with me. Support me with your patience when mine is running thin (AND ITS RUNS SUPER THIN SUPER QUICK). It can be as easy as giving me hug, or a cookie ;) OR JUST AS EASY AS TYPING ME WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT. So, let's not accept anymore bullshit excuses, justifications or reasons that I give or you give for me (Because I know you love me so much that you even protect me by giving me the reason to hide behind from). It's time to go big or go home. And go home is not an option anymore (Figuratively only! Mom, Dad and family, I love u all too much to leave for good.) And I declare, with the power of words- That I would own at least one shop and a title at work by 2018! Look into your mail for my invitation to the grand opening :) Now YOU know, YOU ALL KNOW! I hereby give you the permission to kick my ass. Kick it when I'm not moving. Kick it when I want to quit. (Which is ohhhh so often in everything I start) Kick it when I got no results to show!!!!! *the benefit for you in kicking my ass is: you would develop a leg SO STRONG by the end of the day because you get to use it so hard and often when you kick me. ;)*


Okay. I have taken my first step. Now watch me as I continue to grow! ;)

This is me. Without my makeup. Without my beautiful dresses or shiny accessories. Just me. 

This is me!